No Longer Judged By The Color Of Our Skin

It's 2012, and it seems like we are still being judged by the color of our skin, and now apparently what we wear. But at the same time, I wonder; have we as a Black community brought the violence and judgement we face on a daily basis upon ourselves and to our doorstep? Daily, we glorify, uplift and cater to negative stereotypes that are placed upon us; living up to the labels of hood chick, video vixen, dope boy, hustla, baby mama, baby daddy with pride like it's an honor!! When did it become cool to promote these type of "careers" over being a lawyer, teacher, doctor or simply being legally employed? We spend so much time degrading each other, tearing ourselves down, intentionally act ghetto, ignant and uneducated, yet we are the first ones to complain that the White man is holding us down. I am a strong believer that every action has a reaction whether negative or positive, so why are we honestly so surprised when we are judged by society as no good and worthless if that is how we act? In the event of the Trayvon Martin tragedy, I am truly saddened that an innocent life has been stolen from us so young, but why are we so angry? Every day, our society engages in and ignores Black on Black crime, yet because a life was taken by someone other than one of "us" there is now a cry of outrage and a demand for justice? Where was everyone when this same act was occurring in our streets, schools, backyards by our own kind? A life was stolen because someone chose to believe in the stereotypes that we ourselves embraced and promoted; so who is the true criminal...him or us? No, I don't believe that a hoodie killed Trayvon, far from it; but I honestly feel that he ultimately became a victim of racism combined with ignorance and a foolish belief in stereotypes. If we continue to act like the "niggers" we are perceived to be, how can we honestly expect to see a change in our communities and lives? Propagating stupidity is only hurting us, and jumping on the bandwagon when someone is killed isn't doing us any good; what are we doing to keep our people, especially our Black men alive?  Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream that we become successful Black men and women living good lives and leaving legacies of pride and honor...now all we seem to be leaving is body bags. Until we honestly and truly begin to eradicate the stereotypes placed on us, stop living in mental bondage, and start to carry ourselves with dignity and respect, we are only fooling ourselves if we think change is truly going to come. No, I am not justifying Zimmerman's actions in any way; he is wrong and must be held fully accountable, but I think we also need to take a good hard look at ourselves as a whole and work to eradicate the negative actions that are ultimately holding us back, killing our people and our futures. Change starts with us, and if we honestly want to be judged by the content of our character, then it's about damn time we give society something worthy of content to see and judge other than our skin...

I Have No Time For You, Sorry

I recently moved to Lima, Ohio with my job, and one of the first things I had to find was a barbershop; can't walk around having my head looking a mess! Anyway, no matter what time I go, or what day, I always see this same young Black man sitting on the stoop trying to get my attention. I am always polite and I say hello, but I never stop and give him the time of day. Yesterday, as I was leaving, he said, " You just going to keep ignoring me Ma?" As I continued to walk to my car with a half-smile and quick wave in his direction, I wondered if he viewed himself as I did: young, handsome, seemingly able bodied, and lazy. Every day, he is sitting on his butt, keeping the stoop warm, and from what I can see, not working. I had the mind to turn around and approach him and ask what made him think that he was worth my time; I work, pay my own bills, have my own car, place to live, do for myself and have a very hard time asking others for help unless I really need it. Yes, I have been afforded more privileges than he appears to have, but what is stopping him from accomplishing the same thing as me? Instead of sitting on that stoop, why isn't he out beating the streets for a job? Even if it's cutting someone's grass, raking leaves, washing a car or selling bootleg dvds on the corner, why isn't he doing something? I told a friend about this, and he said, "maybe that is all he knows." And that's supposed to be an excuse? Martin Luther King Jr. only knew racism, did that stop him from searching for peace and change? Ghandi searched for peace in a world for of war and chaos. Our ancestors only knew slavery and oppression, did that stop them from fighting for and obtaining freedom? So, no in my mind "all he knows" is not an excuse to sit on the stoop and let life pass you by. If a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat, and this young Black man doesn't seem too concerned about his next meal. In order to succeed in life, you need to stay hungry, and go after what seems impossible; call me being stuck up or a snob, but I have no time for this young man or any other man for that matter who isn't at least achieving on my level. Seems like to me, our people have become too comfortable with accepting life as it is, and they have given up on achieving greatness in life, and that bothers me because we were born of struggle and know what success looks like; it's in our blood, our history, our culture. No I'm not trying to take away from this man because I don't know his story, and he might have a very legitimate reason for sitting on that stoop, but I highly doubt it. I think the next time I go for my haircut, I will take the time and ask this man what he does and what future he is trying to create by making that stoop his place of employment.

Sooo How Much Do You Make?

I was talking to a male friend of mine, and he said that he doesn't date women who make less than $30,000 a year, and if they have children, that goes up by $10,000 per child. At first, I was shocked because that seemed very superficial, but when I thought about it, it made some very decent sense. Why would you date someone who had four kids and making minimum wage? I know some women are reading this and feeling attacked; not at all, but can you blame a guy if he doesn't want to an instant bank to you and the basketball team of children that you have? And if you have that many children, I hope that you were married at least once and not having children with every man you were in a relationship with...but that's another topic for another time and I digress.  Anyway, back to what I was thinking; not judging in the least, but how can a woman adequately be able to provide for themselves, their children and still be able to equally bring to the table? In today's economy, couples can't afford the luxury of just one being the breadwinner. Then I took it to another level; how many women would eliminate that drama of bad men and relationships from their lives if they adopted that same attitude? Women are always complaining about their broke men and baby mama drama, well if this became a criteria, then there would be less drama to be had. And if a man was making decent money and NOT taking care of his child, then that would help you eliminate a "boy" from your dating pool. For men, this would hopefully be a wake up call to do better by your children and also be more aware of the consequences and responsibilities of casual sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that you should date someone based on their income, but I do believe that you should date someone that is at least on your level or better; dating someone and trying to bring them up only drains and burdens you. You end up giving your time, money and energy to that person rather than using that to uplift and better yourself; who is that helping and how is that worth it?  Say what you will, but I kinda like how my friend thinks; kinda thinking of using this in my own dating life...oh and I make well over $30,000 and have no children, so I don't want a man for his money; but I do want someone on the same level as me or at least near it...

Daddy Where Are You?

To call yourself a man, but have the audacity to deny your child; please go play in traffic during rush hour during the Masters! How can you sleep at night knowing that you have stolen precious memories and time from your own flesh and blood? And then to be spiteful to the mother of your child and try to justify it! That sickens me to no end, no child ever asked to be brought into this world, but it is your duty and responsibility to take care of the life you helped produce. Seeing men run around and spend their money on new shoes, clothes, cars and other toys but refuse to buy your own baby diapers and then get angry because you're being put on child support; umm if you did your part from the beginning like you did when you were laying that pipe, there would be no need for the government to dictate how you provided! If you can be grown enough to put your penis wherever you want, then be man enough to take responsibility for the life that is now in this world! And if you have multiple children, that's the choice you made, so as Spike Lee said "do the right thing!" If that is too much pressure for you and you want to continue living and acting like a little boy, keep your pants zipped; no one, child or mother should have to suffer because you don't want to grow up and actually be a man first, a father second!!

Ode to the Haters

Ok, so seriously, here we go giving recognition to the "haters"...again. I mean maybe it's just me, but when did it become cool or the new thing to do to praise people who don't like you or want you to succeed? There will always be people who are jealous of your talent, skills or blessings on your life, but you don't have to acknowledge them! I mean c'mon, Jesus had the whole world hating on Him, did you see him saying "big ups to the haters?" And what trips me out on a whole different level are the people who run their mouth the most claiming all these haters have absolutely nothing of mention going for them!! They work at Burger King with no benefits, have the oldest car in history, live in government housing or the next best thing, have four kids and three baby daddies, have a drug habit, no ambition and their highlight is balling out at Citi Trends so they can go to the club! (Yes , I know these examples are exaggerated, but you get my meaning). Welfare, government assistance, a disability check or drug money does not qualify you to be hated on! Personally, if you don't have the nice house, the luxury vehicle, the job with benefits and a salary that is ridiculous, or a lavish lifestyle, I really don't know what there is to hate on! If you were to die today, and the legacy you left behind was just some gossip, then hunny no one is hating on you, they're just stirring the pot b/c they're bored and need something to do. Do something of importance and meaning with your life, go make a difference and be a positive example to someone! If you stop spending so much time focusing on your "haters" and start focusing on your future, you might have something legitimate for someone to hate on!

Church Folk Are the Worst Folk

Remember I said one time that church folk are the worst folk? Well honey, I'm saying it loud, proud and all up through there!! Church folk are giving the true meaning of being a Christian a bad name. See, I'm real about mine; I tell everyone one I'm a saint in progress, but this good girl has gone bad and doesn't want to come home just yet. But the thing is, I'm trying. Yeah, I drink, hunch, curse and act a plain heathen from time to time, but I am not trying to hide it, never have, never will. Now don't get me wrong, I used to be one of those Bible thumping, tongue talking, quoting hell fire every time you saw me until I realized how truly detrimental that was to me as a Christian going through the motions and to my friends who I thought I was helping by judging them. I have seen hypocrisy at it's worst and in my own home. And let me tell you, that isn't a good look and it does nothing but cause the sinner to shake their head and choose to stay home rather than come out and experience the true anointing and spiritual blessings God can offer. Like really, I've been told that if I'm going to do my dirt, don't do it close to home because some people wouldn't understand...Umm really, like are you serious? Negro please, I'm doing my dirt at home, on my street, in my bed, shoot on my couch if I want to, because all hiding it does is make it worse and you look like a bigger fool once the truth comes out. Like seriously, claiming celibacy while you jumping all up and down on the dick and then looking hella crazy when you come up pregnant; yeah celibacy doesn't have loopholes or days off. And do you really think it makes you look holier to sneak out late at night to the club you think no one will see you at and slow grind with your girl? Like if she's sucking your dick out of town it's ok and no one knows? And lusting behind closed doors on internet pages is still lusting homeboi, and y'all kill me preaching against homosexuality when the choir director has more sweet in him than the boy performing in drag every week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying go out and sin and brag about it, I'm saying if you mess up, fess up, talk with Jesus and keep it moving and strive to do better; stop sneaking around sinning so you can point your finger on Sunday at the girl whose hair smells like a Black and Mild or look down on the guy who just lit a joint on the  way to church. Being a sinner doesn't make you a bad person, and being a good ol' church folk member doesn't make you a saint. I really think that the "sinner" would have more respect for Christians if the church folk were less focused on hiding their dirt, and more focused on actually being saved according to what God said, not man. Just a thought, but you wouldn't have to hide your dirt if you weren't so busy trying to get dirty.
Every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past; some of y'all need to remember that...

Thank You

I appreciate all the lies
They helped me see through your disguise.
Thanks for the hurt and pain
I saw how much I had to gain.
I'm glad you played me for a fool
Showed me I was better off without you.
Glad you couldn't make time for me
Claiming you were always too busy.
Thank you for being you
Because I never would have had a clue.
I found how to discover me
And embrace my true beauty
I'm glad your words were nothing but lies
I'm happy my eyes did nothing but cry. You healed my mind, gave me back my soul
Helped me realize that I needed to be whole.
Thank you for you, well what you were not
I discovered a new life, and I love what I've got.